The new World Record holder for biggest Man Boobs, , shares his thoughts on this rare and amazing achievement.

by Wahlter Concrite

International contestants compete for world title with a multi-national panel of judges trained in the rare aesthetics of excess girth and interspecies mamarian superiority

Record Holder

Contest winner

“I have to say, this was an unexpected honor”, he said and stared off into the distance. Likely pontificating the momentous honor and its humanitarian implications.

added, “I mean, when i get up and take a look in the mirror its obvious i’m in a league of my own.” Indeed.

The amply endowed Mr jovially grabbed his rotund mammaries and juggled them while commanding an array of facial expressions this journalist has only found among elite European mimes. Mesmerizing. Impressive. Dare i even say ground breaking?

Unbelievably, there are talks of a Nobel Prize nomination. illuminates, “Mother Theresa, Chastity from PoleCatz, MLK, Andrew Dice Clay and me … all people at the top of their game that make society better in their own way. Im honored and inebriated to be worthy of their company.”

Hollywood has taken notice too. Unconfirmed rumors claim a very famous Kardashian was heard saying she thought her “rack” was the best in the business but apparently theres a new sheriff in town and his name is ****ing

I asked what gets up in the morning. What makes him tick? What drives him? Poetically and masterfully he answered, “I just don’t like being hungry and i think the world don’t like it either. If i could do just one thing right in this world it would be to feed the world like my momma fed me. I wish i had a teet big enough for the whole world to suckle”.

With his new world record, just might have one big enough.

Odds are you aren't going to read this but it sure as heck looks convincing doesn't it?! This genius level copywriting can only have been done by our glorious founder using talent given on loan to him from God that his poor poor wife must endure on a daily basis as a captive audience with probable Stockholm syndrome as she basks in the glorious light of his specific disorder of genius. (can't believe you're ACTUALLY reading this ROFL) It's impressive and alaraming. Are you ok? Do you need help? Blink twice if we need to call someone. Is there a care giver somewhere looking for you that needs to be notified?! I'm sure we could call an Uber after you buy something of course. I mean, we have bills too. Don't judge. Also, these places sound VERY important:

New York
London
Moscow
Dubai
Singapore

© SlappyWares. We totally did all this.

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Record Holder

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